THERESA May has launched a brutal crackdown on people who steal toilet rolls from their employers.
The prime minister branded toilet paper thieves as ‘enemies of the state’ and insisted their crimes were a ‘direct challenge to her authority’.
She said: “The stealing of toilet paper from the workplace is an act of treason. And that’s that.”
The prime minister has also demanded the extradition of British people who stole toilet paper from work and then fled the country.
But human rights activists warned that May’s crackdown could lead to the purging of everyone in Britain.
A spokesman for Liberty said: “I steal bog roll from here all the time. So did Shami Chakrabarti. She used to bring in an extra big shoulder bag on Fridays.”
One toilet paper thief added: “I thought Theresa May was all about protecting the poorest? Stealing toilet paper is the closest I get to an annual bonus.”