Meditation leads to painfully obvious spiritual insights

A MAN who recently took up meditation has gained spiritual insights that anyone could have thought of, it has emerged.

After joining a weekly one-hour meditation class, graphic designer Tom Logan has been sharing his newfound wisdom along the lines of ‘we all rush around too much’.

Co-worker Nikki Hollis said: “You may as well rush things like doing your washing because what’s the point in taking time to appreciate Persil liquid and a bunch of socks?

“Tom also said we never ask ourselves what really matters in life, but I’ve done that loads of times just by thinking rather than paying £15 to sit on a yoga mat.”

Logan said: “Meditation allows me to rise above everyday life and see how trivial it is, although obviously I still have to do stuff like go to work and clean the cat’s litter tray when I’m not meditating.

“It’s taught me some very deep things, like try to relax if you’re stressed, don’t worry about unimportant things and enjoy life as much as you can.

“Sometimes I allow myself a smug little smile because I know these incredible secrets.”


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Parents welcome third child who is clearly an accident

A COUPLE have welcomed their third child, who is clearly an accident although they are playing that down.

Tom and Susan Booker announced the birth of their new son Ralph, who is seven years younger than his siblings who were not fairly obviously the result of a contraceptive mishap.

Susan Booker said: “It’s so great to have another baby, especially after having been through the whole exhausting process twice almost a decade ago.

“Two children is fine but having a third one when you’re nearly 40 really completes the family.”

Tom Booker said: “It’s great. It’s so…great.

“We only have sex about once a month and somehow we are blessed with his miracle. A miracle that could have been easily avoided if certain people had taken the agreed precautions but let’s not dwell on that.

“We’d always wanted another, despite having chucked out all our baby stuff after the last one was born.

“I may look like a pale exhausted husk but I’m smiling on the inside.”