IMAGES of male beauty in the media are forcing men to make a grudging effort to look half-decent.
Attractive actors and models have been blamed for new patterns of dysfunctional behaviour in men, like stopping to sniff the shirt that they found on the floor before putting it on.
Style consultant Tom Logan said: “In the past men have relied on wealth or the fleeting burst of confidence that accompanies binge drinking in order to snare a mate.
“But the increasing prevalence of men who look fit and clean is changing the rules and making men uncomfortable with their natural, healthy nose and ear hair and pallid distended bellies. Albeit not quite uncomfortable enough to do anything about it.”
Stephen Malley, a man, said: “I’ve become obsessed with having abs like Robert Pattinson. So I’ve sort of drawn some on, using a black marker pen I found down the back of the sofa while looking for crisps.
“From a distance it looks quite convincing.”