RAOUL Moat was executed on behalf of a group of Tory billionaire businessmen whose names you will never know, it was claimed last night.
According to some of Britain’s most respected bloggers, Moat had become too dangerous to the secret establishment that controls every aspect of your life and had to die in a way that made it look as if he was just some nutcase.
Roy Hobbs, senior investigative correspondent at royhobbs.blogspot.com, said: “It would have been organised by Murdoch, obviously.
“He would have picked up the phone to Andy Coulson in Downing Street who would have had a quiet word with a guy at MI6 who would have given the contract to an operative in Marseille who would then have brought in some hired hands from Turkey, possibly Morocco.
“Meanwhile, the media lap up this cover story about an angry bouncer who beats up kids, guzzles steroids and loves guns.
“Oh, and by the way, it is so obvious that a Sun reporter concocted those rambling, confessional letters full of threats and madness to make Moat look like your typical, self-pitying, narcissistic twat.
“And I absolutely guarantee that none of those men you saw on the news were policemen. They were all Corsican mafia. Look, I’ve drawn this diagram.”
He added: “We’re through the looking glass here people. Black is white and
white is black.”
Bill McKay, a tool from Doncaster, said: “The guy who was shot in Gateshead wanted to end the multi-billion pound war in Afghanistan that maintains the power of the military-industrial complex controlled by JCB and Asda. He had to die and Moat was just a pansy.
“The real autopsy results of both men will show that they were killed with a single shot from a high-powered, German manufactured Mauser, the weapon of choice among former members of the French Foreign Legion. This has got Jonathan Aitken written all over it.”
He added: “And you’ll notice that Moat supposedly ‘shot himself’ in the middle of the night. But any ballistics expert will tell you that’s actually the best time to shoot someone if you don’t want anyone to else to see.”