More People Bringing Vuvuzelas To The Office

THE World Cup has seen a sharp rise in the number of people bringing their vuvuzelas to work with them.

'You'll have to speak up, I'm playing my vuvuzela'

The Confederation of British Industry said an increasing number of UK offices are coming alive to the vibrant sound of happy workers blowing into their plastic African trumpets without a care in the world.

Helen Archer, a solicitor from Hatfield, said: “It usually starts with one person blowing theirs for no particular reason, then a few more people join in and within 30 seconds you have an utterly deafening racket that lasts for seven or eight minutes before it gradually starts to fizzle out.

“At the moment, that’s happening about three or four times an hour.”

Nathan Muir, an accountant from Stevenage, said: “I bought this thing about three years ago to help me communicate less effectively with my wife, but I didn’t realise it had workplace applications. How fantastic.

“I shall obviously use it to fanfare my arrival and departure, but I think I’ll also take it with me to the lavatory so that I can proclaim the birth of my morning shit.”

Roy Hobbs, a marketing consultant from Finsbury Park, added: “I find it very useful when the office manager is trying to talk to me about my mileage claims.

“She holds up the sheet and points at various numbers, attempting to make what I have no doubt are some very valid points and I take a deep breath and stare at her blankly while letting out a sustained PAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP until she goes away.

“I fucking love this thing”