Mum asking questions on Facebook like she's never heard of Google

A MUM is using Facebook to ask questions that would be easily answered with an internet search.

Mary Fisher, 55, has been throwing out random, trivial questions on her wall, hoping that someone will have an answer for her.

Last night she asked: “What time is Midsomer Murders on?

“And what was the name of the young actor in Rising Damp and Porridge?

“Any tips for making a lasagne?”

Fisher’s daughter Sarah said: “She will ask me questions on my wall like ‘Is everything alright, Sweetheart?’ and then expect us to have a conversation that anyone could read.

“Like I’m going to say ‘No, everything’s shit. I’m behind on the rent and they are going to cut the internet off.

“So I just write ‘Yeah am fine Mum’ and then delete it off my wall soon afterwards.”

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Leicester City reinforces suspension on bandwagon

LEICESTER City FC has carried out emergency works on its bandwagon following an unprecedented number of passengers.

The hitherto unremarkable football team has experienced severe bandwagon overcrowding in recent weeks, hence the need for reinforced suspension and extra-sturdy tyres.

A spokesman said: “Until recently this bandwagon was half empty on a busy week, but now you can’t even get standing room.

“Some of these passengers are still wearing Manchester United shirts.

“I know everyone loves a winner but at least let us put some decent shock absorbers on this thing before you all jump around singing ‘Glory Glory Leicester United.”

Bandwagon rider Tom Booker said: “City is it? Sorry, old habits die hard, just like John Vardy’s scoring streak.”

Leicester City will bolster its bandwagon with parts from the now defunct Jeremy Corbyn bandwagon, which has been replaced by a wheelbarrow.