A MUM-OF-TWO has been left distraught after visiting a soft play centre with a critically low phone battery.
Emma Howard was just five minutes into a trip to the Wacky Wally Play Pit in Birmingham when the gravity of her error became clear.
She explained: “I had just sat down to a cup of terrible coffee when I took out phone – my only solace in the colourful padded hell of the soft play arena – to see a flashing graphic of a depleted battery.
“We had only just arrived and the kids would not leave without a major kick off. I was fucked.
“I considered faking some kind of seizure to get out of there but my phone completely died just as I was Googling ‘how to fake illness in a soft play centre’. In the end, I had to sit there for three hours without a phone like a psychopath.
“At one point I got so desperate, I watched my kids jump into germ-laden plastic balls 72 times.”
A government spokesman said: “We advise parents to double-check battery power before entering anywhere with piss-covered slides and poor quality wall paintings of something called ‘Barry the Octopus’.”