Sunday, 9th August 2020

Mum never thought she'd be so desperate to visit a soft play centre

A WOMAN who has entertained her children in her own home for four months would give anything to ignore them in a soft play centre for two hours.

29-year-old Lauren Hewitt used to believe soft play centres were the seventh circle of Hell, but in recent weeks has begun to dream about taking her children there and blissfully ignoring them for two hours.

She said: “I would give a kidney for the opportunity to to sit down, drink terrible coffee and scroll mindlessly through social media to the relaxing sound of screams that aren’t my problem.

“They’ve been home with me for 14 weeks. During that time I’ve come to realise that soft play does more for my mental health than anything else, including meditation apps, therapy and 40 per cent proof booze.

“If they can open the pubs, which are full of people staggering around laughing like twats and being sick in corners, why can’t they open soft play?

“They’re basically the same thing.”