SWEARING is popular, but many insults simply do not stand up to rigorous intellectual appraisal. Here are some of the most illogical ones.
Only a vanishingly small number of people have sex with their own mother, so calling someone a mofo will simply be factually incorrect 99.9999999999999999 per cent of the time.
Again, doesn’t really make sense. A straight guy probably doesn’t suck penises, and if the recipient of your insult is a gay man it’s part of a normal, healthy and varied sex life. If only people would apply some critical thinking before swearing. Sigh.
Appalling hypocrisy. Criticising someone for masturbating assumes you yourself have never masturbated, which is unlikely. Doctors and psychologists agree it is entirely harmless and mostly beneficial, so the science is against you with this particular slur.
Cultural differences apply here – Americans find it misogynistic, whereas Britons use it more practically to kick off a pub fight. Either way, it’s so metaphorical it’s utterly ridiculous, like saying ‘Did you spill my pint, you mons veneris?’
Go and f**k yourself
Saying this to someone shows you have a poor understanding of human anatomy. Having sex with yourself isn’t physically possible, unless you suffer from a very obscure birth defect or are a tentacled monster in a Japanese porn anime cartoon.
In most mammals and indeed all creatures, your digestive tract requires a way to expel waste. Arseholes are actually very positive things. If someone calls you an arsehole, ask them what they would do without an anus and if they would prefer to die from toxic shock.