A NEW limited edition of Monopoly aimed at baby boomers gives them a free house on every square and £3,000 in pension cash whenever they pass Go.
The game, marketed to the over-60s, features cash giveaways by pandering politicians, stable incomes and boomer-themed counters including golf clubs, watercolour sets and a minature metal right-wing newspaper.
68-year-old Roy Hobbs said: “I did bloody well to throw that double-six. I deserve a house on Whitehall.
“If these young ones want to do better they should try not landing on such expensive properties. No wonder half your salary’s gone in rent when you insist on landing on Bond Street.
“It’s like when Joan landed on Community Chest, and earned an instant £2,500 for writing a Telegraph column about how the kids today don’t make the effort. Too true.
“We worked hard our whole lives, so it’s only fair that everyone else gets shafted. That means board games, as well as the housing market, employment and, as of next year, European holidays.
“Old Kent Road’s mine. You owe me £8,000. Yeah it’s been gentrified.”