A SELF-PROCLAIMED ‘nice guy’ absolutely hates other nice men.
Kind, thoughtful man Nathan Muir said: “I’ve spent years cultivating my nice image, only to find out that loads of other men have been doing it too.
“It’s really annoying because being nice is my thing. I was actually the first man to ever think of it.
“The other week I offered to help my friend Nikki move, to show her I’m not like the other bastards in her life, and that what she really wants is a nice guy like me.
“Then what bloody happens? She brings her mate Tom along to help, with him claiming that ‘many hands make light work’. Who the hell is this Tom with his weird politeness and thoughtfulness? I bet he’s only pretending to be nice to hump her.
“Someone should tell him the role of ‘guy who’s not like all the other guys’ is taken. Not me though, because I’m too nice. I even made the fucker a cup of tea.”