Old gay couple who run rural post office ‘definitely into chemsex’

TWO SEMI-RETIRED gay men who run a village post office are enjoying massive orgies on crystal meth, it has been claimed.

77-year-old Norman Steele and his partner Roy Hobbs have been running a post office and convenience store in Gloucestershire for over a decade, while possibly spending their weekends writhing in a pool of drug sweat with up to thirty naked homosexuals.

Villager Stephen Malley, who recently read about ‘chemsex’ in the Telegraph, said: “I never thought about Roy and Norman as depraved hedonists on a self-destructive spiral of meth and GHB-fuelled unsafe group sex.

“But last Monday Norman said he was ‘tired’, which suggests that he spent the weekend doing heroin in the shop’s store room which is actually a sex dungeon.

“Also last week they ran out of brown envelopes, probably because they’d been soaking them in liquid ecstasy then sticking them up their arses.

“And they sell scratchcards, which are a sort of drug when you think about it.”

Local housewife Susan Traherne agreed: “They look really old but they’re probably only about 36. It’s the drugs.”