PARENTS only have a third baby in case the first two turn out to be dicks, it has been confirmed.
A recent study has revealed that while the first child is a novelty and the second is a ‘nice idea’, child number three is usually conceived as a back up in case you fuck up the first two.
Pregnant mother of two from Bristol, Emma Howard said; “I expected the first one to be a bit of an arsehole because he was just our practice run.
“But when our second child started showing signs of being an arsehole too, we were a bit shocked.
“We panicked and decided to have one more just in case. Third time lucky.
“If this one turns out to be crap we’ll just keep going until we get the Son of God or Beyonce or something.”