DO you think the bit of road outside your house is your private property rather than a public highway? You’re probably a twat about these other things too.
People can’t park outside your house
Getting frothingly irate because the nice old lady next door sometimes parks her car on the street outside your house is not one of your basic human rights. Although it’s probably fair enough if a local builder has decided ‘your’ bit of road is his personal car park.
Being an absolute bellend on social media
Fancy being horrible to a total stranger? Get on Twitter, where twats think psychopathic abuse is entirely normal and reasonable. Until they lose their jobs and are baffled as to why a few harmless death threats are wrong.
The middle lane of the motorway
The slow lane is full of lorries and the fast lane is scary, so get nice and comfortable in the middle lane. It will piss off fellow drivers on a 300-mile trip to Exeter, but if you think it’s your right to slowly hog the road, angrily give the finger to anyone who disagrees.
A foreign holiday
You’d think a global pandemic that has killed almost four million people worldwide would curb your belief that you have a fundamental right to spend two weeks getting shitfaced on a beach. Maybe you could survive going to St Ives just this one year instead.
Taking children to pubs
It is down to the discretion of a pub manager whether kids can come in or not, but some parents believe that allowing whining, shrieking children to ruin the peaceful ambience of a pub on a Sunday afternoon is their right. It’s not. Take them to soft play with a few cans of Stella.