PEOPLE now in their 30s will spend their retirement fleeing from government robots programmed to kill old people.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “An ageing population means that Britons can no longer expect to spend their retirement playing golf, going to Florida and obsessing about the parking space outside their house.
“By the 2030s the government will have an army of ‘reaperbots’ programmed to hunt and kill the billions of older people who have outlived their economic usefulness.
“The robots will be able to smell your DNA and have hypodermics for fingers. Also they will be strong enough to punch holes in walls in their pursuit of you.
“On the plus side, in the future there will be massive tellies and strawberry flavoured crisps.”