People over 30 can still remember when Facebook was even vaguely interesting

PEOPLE over 30 can still remember when Facebook was not something you constantly want to escape because it is shit.

Thirty-something, Tom Logan said: “Don’t get me wrong. It used to be fun. Sharing jokes with friends, putting up songs that people might not have heard, stuff like that.

“Now it’s just a constant stream of bad news and self-censorship as you don’t want to put up anything too controversial as you could lose your job or confuse your uncle.”

He added: “Why can’t we just go back to MySpace and all dream about there one day being a black President and a functioning Labour Party?”

Eighteen year old Wayne Hayes added, “Facebook’s great. It’s like being in your own soap opera. And because I’m young and stupid that really appeals to me.”

Meanwhile 60-year-old, Mary Fisher said, “Oh I love Facebook. I don’t even have to watch the news any more as I’ve already picked the news I want and what could possibly be wrong with doing that?”

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Indicating at roundabouts is for total losers, claims twat

A MAN who does not indicate at roundabouts thinks he is a carefree pirate of the road rather than a cretin, it has been confirmed.

Tom Logan, 37, has not used his indicators since he passed his driving test 20 years ago, believing that letting people know the direction he is driving two tons of speeding metal is bowing down to ‘the man’.

Logan said: “I view myself as being a bit like Tom Cruise in Top Gun, breaking the rules and being a maverick. I even wear mirrored shades because they make me look super cool, and not at all like a massive twat.

“My favourite place to not indicate is actually on the motorway. I also overtake in the slow lane, which is what Genghis Khan would have done if he regularly drove from Banbury to Leamington Spa on the M40.”

He added: “Driving is a masculine pastime like fighting. Which I would never do because when I get out of my Audi Q5 I’m actually terrified of the world.”