Tuesday, 11th May 2021

People swap food bank vouchers for drugs, and other bullshit idiots believe

BRITONS will believe any old shite that fits their prejudices. Watch out for these examples of spurious bollocks:

People sell food bank vouchers for drugs

The country is facing the biggest economic and social crisis since the Second World War, with thousands of families left struggling to survive day-to-day. But a taxi driver told your neighbours’ auntie that he once took somebody to a food bank and then dropped them off outside some dodgy flats, so it must be true.

Facebook is your friend

It’s great to see what people you used to work with 20 years ago are pretending to be up to. What a marvellous invention, despite your data and movements being used to build a picture of your life so detailed even Big Brother from Nineteen Eighty-Four would say ‘Come on, leave them some privacy.’

Britain is an important player on the international stage

Given the catastrophic handling of the coronavirus pandemic, the alienation of America’s president-elect before he even came to power and Brexit leaving us with trade deals only with Benin and Andorra, it’s odd that we hold onto this delusion, but we do.

Immigration is bad

All these people coming over here, keen to do the hard but vital jobs most native Brits don’t want to do or the complicated and life-saving jobs not enough of us are qualified for is a real problem. Making it harder is definitely a good idea and not a massive act of self-sabotage.

The Strictly results show is live on a Sunday

Claudia, Tess and the judges are in different clothes. And the stars always say ‘last night’ when talking about their dance! Cling to the delusion, fools.