OVER 90 per cent of National Trust car sticker owners are career criminals, it has emerged.
Drug dealers confirmed that having the preservation society’s logo in your rear windscreen is the best way to convince police you are a harmless, sexless, nature lover.
Successful cocaine dealer Tom Logan said: “It’s like an invisibility cloak. I’ve got a white 7 Series BMW and frequently drive around Manchester at 4am, but I never get pulled because of the good old conker leaf.
“Or oak leaf, acorn leaf, I don’t know what it is to be honest.”
Heroin merchant Stephen Malley said: “That little sticker is the best £2.49 I’ve ever spent.
“I had one of the ‘God-botherer fish’ stickers before, but it was just too obvious.
“In fairness I think the National Trust do excellent work and I would take out membership if I didn’t have to spend most weekends in warehouse basements repeatedly punching people tied to chairs.”