Personalised number plates only 100% effective way to identify twats

A PERSONALISED number plate is the only sure-fire way to identify a twat, experts have confirmed.

The Institute for Studies found that vanity plates always indicated twats, due to costing a bomb yet barely resembling a person’s name or actual word, for example, ‘ST3V36’.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Personalised number plates are basically sending out the message ‘Look at me, I can drive a car and I have money to waste’.

“As such, we in the scientific community agree that while not all twats have personalised number plates, if you do have a personalised number plate you are definitely a twat.

“Spending on these stupid things has increased in recent years, which we believe may be related to vodka with bits of gold in it and stag parties in Las Vegas. More research is needed.”

Recruitment consultant Tom Logan said: “I bought myself a personalised plate to celebrate shafting someone at work. Mine says LO537, which is my nickname that no one actually calls me yet, ‘Loge T’.

“And no, it doesn’t look like ‘Loser’.”