Phone footage shows pleasant chat on tube

AN unidentified woman has been filmed amiably conversing with a stranger on the London Underground.

36-year-old languages teacher Tom Booker used his iPhone to record the incident of politeness, which lasted for almost two minutes.

He said: “She kept looking over at him, I naturally assumed she was going to tell him to fuck off back where he came from, call him a dirty old perv, or just deliver a steely death stare. Everyday London stuff, you know.

“Instead she gestured to the book he was reading and said, ‘I like Game of Thrones too, have you seen it on telly?’

“He replied that he hadn’t but would like to. She said it was good and mentioned a couple of actors in it that she liked.

“The rest of the carriage sat silently while self-consciously tinkering with their phones.

“Walking up the platform afterwards I felt a bit sick, like I had just hallucinated being in a scene from a Hollywood film.

“Then someone barged straight into me and growled ‘fuckwit’ under his breath like it was my fault. I was okay again after that.”



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I can also do fascism, confirms Boris

BORIS Johnson has confirmed that if the British people want a fascist in charge he is happy to oblige.

As a survey by the Hansard Society found that most voters want to be led by a ‘strongman’ who ignores parliament, Johnson immediately wrote a column for the Daily Telegraph about Britain’s proud history of dictatorship.

The massive blond haired child wrote: “Henry VIII was the greatest king in human history – an avuncular figure who only decapitated uncooperative wives when absolutely necessary.

“He gave no quarter to Papal jiggery-pokery and established a church which to this day remains enormously relevant to our everyday lives.”

He added: “Britain’s desire for fascism coincides with my own long-held belief in strong government led by someone who was destined for the role.

“Arbeit macht free. Make Britain Great Again. I look forward to hearing from you.”