A HOLIDAY picnic was destroyed yesterday after everyone turned up with nothing but marinated, unpitted olives.
Officials said all the guests had rejected artisanal pasties and premium corn snacks after calculating that a small tub of olives would give them the most change from a fiver.
Within minutes, guests were attacking each other with plastic wine glasses as their enraged bodies reacted against the lack of anticipated carbohydrate.
Organiser Tom Logan said: “When the first few people arrived I thought, ‘okay, we’re fine for olives’. By the twelfth I was smacking the tub out of their hands and biting them on the chin.”