Friday, 5th June 2020

Pink balloon threatens human

A HUMAN has been threatened by a small, bright pink balloon.

The balloon floated along a central London street before stopping next to a human and bobbing up and down for a few seconds.

The human said: “I assumed it would just float past me, but when it stopped and bobbed about next to my face, I thought ‘is this balloon trying to frighten me?’.

“I didn’t really know what to do, but of course it didn’t matter because it’s just a balloon.

“Eventually it will either burst, perhaps surprising a baby or a tiny dog, or it will just gradually deflate to the point where it looks like a scrotum.”