Friday, 5th June 2020

Woman who tells everyone to 'grow up' sounds like a teenager

A WOMAN too immature to ever win arguments simply tells everyone they need to ‘grow up’, friends have confirmed. 

Nikki Hollis uses the phrase when she feels out of her depth in a discussion in the belief it gives her the upper hand, even though it makes her seem like she is arguing over a Sherbert Dib Dab.

Colleague Francesca Johnson said: “There’s something uniquely irritating about being told to grow up by a woman who went to see the Spice Girls last week.

“Nikki loves confrontation but can’t cope with a complex argument. For example recently she said the UK should grow all its own food. When told we don’t have the climate, she told us all to ‘get real’ then flounced out of the kitchen.

“In the last month I’ve been told to grow up for complaining about stolen yoghurts, for not believing in angels, and for joining a union. Each time followed by a long, inarticulate sulk.”

Hollis said: “They’re just jealous.”