Police Remain Institutionally Stupid

DESPITE a decade of extra investment and training Britain's police remain institutionally stupid, according to a major new report.

'Hello my name is Bobby. No, hang on, that's not right.... my JOB is Bobby.'

The Commission for People Not Being Stupid said the average policeman is either mildly stupid or tremendously stupid indeed.

Director Tom Booker said: "There are still too few people with brain cells joining the police while only a handful of senior posts are occupied by non-stupids.

"This means that most of our policing is still unbelievably dim-witted and therefore many parts of the country, particularly the London Underground, remain no-go areas."

He added: "Nevertheless, we have seen some progress in the sense that the force is no longer institutionally racist. It is now just individually racist."

A Police Federation spokesman said: "Comment? What does that mean? Does that mean you want me to say stuff? Okay.

"For my breakfast I had chips and peas and chocolate and a cup of tea. Then I put on my big hat and got on the bus.

"I am now going to have a nap and dream about being a dog."