DESPITE a decade of extra investment and training Britain's police remain institutionally stupid, according to a major new report.
The Commission for People Not Being Stupid said the average policeman is either mildly stupid or tremendously stupid indeed.
Director Tom Booker said: "There are still too few people with brain cells joining the police while only a handful of senior posts are occupied by non-stupids.
"This means that most of our policing is still unbelievably dim-witted and therefore many parts of the country, particularly the London Underground, remain no-go areas."
He added: "Nevertheless, we have seen some progress in the sense that the force is no longer institutionally racist. It is now just individually racist."
A Police Federation spokesman said: "Comment? What does that mean? Does that mean you want me to say stuff? Okay.
"For my breakfast I had chips and peas and chocolate and a cup of tea. Then I put on my big hat and got on the bus.
"I am now going to have a nap and dream about being a dog."