Police To Target The Hippies With Video Cameras

POLICE officers on crowd control duty have been ordered to give priority beatings to anyone holding a video camera.

Cheap camcorders are undermining policemen's rights

The Association of Chief Police Officers (ACPO) said the new operational guidance would help to reduce incidents of the media reporting stories about policeman hitting innocent people incredibly hard for no reason.

An ACPO spokesman said: "In the midst of a highly-charged protest situation it is very easy for things to be videoed getting out of hand.

"The police have a very difficult job to do while at the same time preserving the democratic right to knock the absolute living shit out of communists and hippies without some bastard filming it on their phone.

"In future officers will refrain from unprovoked and indiscriminate attacks and instead focus their violence very precisely on anyone holding a camera.

"Only when this individual has been neutralised can the officers return to their core duty of running amok with a big, fuck-off stick."

The spokesman added: "In the interests of public safety it will remain standard operating procedure to beat someone unconscious as quickly as possible in order to prevent them sustaining a more serious injury.

"Experience tells us that if someone is still struggling on the ground they run the very significant risk of an officer kicking them repeatedly in the kidneys."