A WEALTHY family leave their shit lying all around the pub whenever they visit.
Rich bellend Tom Booker, his loud sinewy wife and awful children always occupy at least three tables, even if it means just leaving bits of the Financial Times strewn across furniture while they dick about outside.
Booker said: “We just do whatever the fuck we want when we go to the pub.
“Usually we chuck our coats in one corner of the room, our wellies in the middle of the floor and just let the dog do his dog stuff.
“Ideally we will have another wealthy knobhead family from London staying with us, so we can have a nauseating conversation about how property in the area is still bloody reasonable, whether you’re looking to move down or just for a second home.
“Sometimes we send our children to the bar with drinks orders, then get in a massive strop when the staff refuse to serve them.
“As we see it, everybody works for us.”