BRITAIN’S children are in no way prepared for what they will find in parents’ bedrooms while looking for their Christmas presents, it has been confirmed.
Research from the Institute for Studies showed that whilst a parent’s bedroom is the most likely place for a child to find their new games console or pet horse, it’s also the most likely place they will find some sort of sexual accessory.
Professor Henry Brubaker said: “It’s understandable that your child may want a rabbit for Christmas, but not of one of the ‘rampant’ variety which is in ‘that drawer’.
“Same goes for the butt plugs and definitely that thing that looks like a torch but with a fanny on the end.”
Child Nathan Muir said: “I went rooting through my dad’s sock draw and found some of his naughty magazines by mistake.
“Yeah, I know. Who still buys porno mags?”