BUDGET clothing giant Primark has banned good-looking people from its shops.
Primark’s management got the idea after reading that Abercrombie and Fitch stores exclude fat customers.
A Primark spokesman said: “It seems so obvious in retrospect – no one wants a hot model type spoiling the mood as they’re shuffling around our aisles chucking things on the floor.
“Our brand is all about reasonably-priced elasticated clothing for people with a flexible approach to how many cakes they should eat.
“You could say we’re promoting a cake-based lifestyle.”
Under new store rules, anyone with a body fat ratio of under 39 per cent with be firmly but politely pointed in the direction of the fancy jeans shop down the road.
The spokesman said: “We’re also asking our staff to ‘stop washing and start eating’. If anyone turns up for their shift looking too slim, they’ll have to power-eat ten Steak Bakes.”
36-year-old Primark customer Emma Bradford said: “Obviously I want my Primark experience to be as depressing as possible, I go in there as a sort of psychological self-harm. But I don’t mind seeing thin people as long as they look tired and forlorn.
“The main group I’d like to see excluded is clever people. Can we do that?”