Thursday, 2nd April 2020

Prince Philip gives up fighter pilot's licence

PRINCE Philip has given up his fighter pilot’s licence at the relatively young age of 97.

The decision follows public outcry after Philip crashed his Lockheed Martin F-22 Raptor jet into a pub car park while not wearing a seatbelt.

A Buckingham Palace source said: “He did love flying about in that thing. And being, 'old school,' he didn't like being told how to fly about in it either.

“Obviously, 'old school’ means ‘mad and arrogant with zero accountability’, but the plane’s missiles had been deactivated apart from the small ones that will only blow up a cow."

Local landlady, Emma Bradford added: “It's sad. He was just of that age where he liked to park up his F-22 outside, have a couple of pints in the afternoon and then fly off around tea time.”