Prisoners freed from London Dungeon

FORMER inmates of Britain’s toughest prison, the London Dungeon, have described being kept in deliberately horror-themed conditions.

This skull will finally be buried

This skull will finally be buried

Following an incident where an inmate was deliberately sawn in half, the quasi-Victorian detention centre will close and re-open on new premises at the more progressive London Open Dungeon.

Despite a popular perception that the prisoners at the London Dungeon were lifelike waxworks, they were in fact real convicts kept on display as an example to the general public and overweight American tourists.

36-year-old former London dungeon inmate Stephen Malley said: “It was horrible, there were skeletons everywhere, just lying around the place.

“They deliberately gave me leprosy and painted my teeth black so that I would ‘look more frightening’.

“I would clutch the bars of my cell door and scream at passing families but they just recoiled in semi-ironic terror.

“If you annoyed the guards they would put you on the rack. They even have a member of staff whose job title is ‘the torturer’.

“Worst of all, there was no broadband we were all dealing with Facebook withdrawal.”

The London Dungeon has special legal dispensation to torture inmates using medieval equipment on the grounds that it is educational.

Chief warden Tom Logan said: “Our prisoners were thieves, harlots, brigands and murderers and as such deserved everything they got.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have fed car thieves to rats, but I regret nothing. In fact when I think about it I laugh evilly in a deep booming voice.”