PSYCHICS are still in existence despite the fact it is 2016.
A recent report revealed that not only are psychics still operating, but many of them are making even more money than you are from your comparatively honest job.
Self-styled psychic Eleanor Shaw said: “It’s a piece of piss.
“People phone up for an appointment, I do a quick google search on them before they arrive, and then I basically say ‘everything will turn out alright’ in different ways over the course of an hour while referencing a few of their Facebook friends.
“I wear a lot of purple and have massive earrings, which makes me look mystical.”
Moron Martin Bishop said: “My psychic is wonderful.
“So far she has told me that I will be going on a journey of some significance, and lo and behold that very Thursday my company sent me to a conference in Guildford to discuss modern fireplace design.
“Nobody could have predicted that without some kind of supernatural gift.”