COMMITTED remainers are being lured to the upcoming ‘Festival of Brexit’ after hearing rumours there will be something to eat.
The festival, previously dismissed as a national embarrassment on an almost unimaginable scale, is now hoping to attractive large, ravenous crowds by laying on tinned meat and spaghetti hoops.
Remainer Julian Cook said: “Rumours have been flying around the remain campfires that if you actually sit all the way through one of the performances you might get some sort of tinned pudding.”
Fellow remainer Sarah Young had thought of going to the festival simply to rub it in the faces of Brexiters that all her predictions were correct.
She added: “But if there is chance of a small pie, I might even be willing to join in the traditional chants of ‘traitor traitor traitor’ directed at whoever isn’t visibly aroused by their blue passports.”