EVEN the hardest of parents are developing a blank gaze during the latter stages of the school holidays, it has emerged.
As the enforced period of time spent with their children drags on into its fifth weary week, battle-scarred parents are reporting symptoms that include tremors and a lack of responsiveness to external stimuli.
Mother-of-two Nikki Hollis said: “I went into the school holidays with a gung-ho attitude, because I came through Easter a little bloody, but mainly unbowed.
“However, I think I must have blocked out the experience of last year’s summer break, perhaps due to the trauma involved, because I have felt completely unprepared for the seemingly endless brutality of the last few weeks.
“We’ve had the Battle of Can We Go To Legoland?, the Siege of the Naughty Step and the Tantrums in the Middle of Tesco Campaign. It’s true what they say about war being boredom punctuated by moments of terror.
“Both my husband and I have been tempted to desert our posts, but we’re ultimately loyal and have developed a strong sense of camaraderie with all the other troops that we meet in the trenches. And by trenches, I mean the local playground.”
Hollis added: “Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more.”