Scientists discover couple caught in endless ‘I don’t mind, you decide’ loop

A COUPLE are at risk of starving to death after becoming tangled in an ‘infinite non-decision loop’ over what to have for dinner.

Scientists detected the endless loop last Tuesday when Emma Logan asked husband Tom what he fancied to eat, leading to both insisting they really, really did not mind.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “Since then the two have gone back and forth in person and over email completely failing to make any sort of decision but wishing the other would.”

Emma said: “I almost broke the cycle when I suggested we could ring out, but then we got caught up in what to have and it was back to square one. I think I heard a faint whooshing sound as the loop reconfigured itself.”

Tom Logan added: “I’ve been grazing from the fridge while she makes her sodding mind up.”

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Train passengers vow revenge on woman who asked them to move up a bit

A WOMAN who asked fellow train passengers to ‘move up a bit’ has become the subject of intense, lifelong hatred by several complete strangers.

Jane Thomson said the fateful words whilst trying to squeeze onto a crowded train in North London, resulting in fellow commuters secretly vowing to ruin her.

This immediate and intense loathing was displayed by a damning chorus of polite tuts and some half-hearted shuffling to make space.

Passenger Wayne Hayes: “I loathe her and everything she stands for.

“I swear to you now, if  I can impede her progress down the train, or arrange for her life to become slightly more inconvenient in any way, I will do so.”

Fellow passenger Tanya Harris added: “I’m going to stare at her for at least five seconds. You mess with the bull, you get the horns.”