SCIENTISTS have confirmed that the whole Scouting movement is apparently fine while still looking very weird.
Research has shown that Scouts, along with Cubs, Brownies and all the rest, are actually doing perfectly healthy, educational activities and only look like an unsmiling junior fascist movement.
Researcher Eleanor Shaw said: “Despite appearances, they’re not up to anything. Honestly, we checked.
“They make paper aeroplanes, they go camping occasionally, they’re given badges for doing perfectly ordinary everyday things. It isn’t weird. It really isn’t.
“I mean, unless there’s some kind of Manchurian Candidate thing going on and they’re hypnotised to take over Britain in house-to-house death squads, and they’re not. Probably not.”
52-year-old former scout Roy Hobbs said: “It’s all good, clean fun, though when I did Bob-a-Job in the 70s we were asked to kill a man and hide his body where it would never be found.
“Well, we had to do it. It’s the Scout code. And we only got 20p.”