TEACHERS ruthlessly forced children of the 70s and 80s into traditional cisgender roles. Here is some of their systematic gender oppression that will shock today’s young people.
Gender-specific sports
Schools rigidly enforced a rule of football for boys and netball or hockey for girls. Strangely, when girls did finally get to play football the earth did not fall off its axis, and now everyone loves the Lionesses. The system also produced millions of men with mediocre football skills, for which there is no demand whatsoever in the modern economy.
No drag queen storytimes
This would have been incredibly popular. Not because kids wanted to explore different gender identities, but because they love any disruption to the school day. They down tools in an excited panic if they see a bee 20m from their classroom, for f**k’s sake.
A lack of strong female characters in playground games
At primary school, small girls could only pretend to be Princess Leia or Aunt Flo from Bod in imaginative playground games. Fortunately nowadays there is a host of hugely popular female characters to choose from, such as She-Hulk, Rey Skywalker, America Chavez, the rebooted Little Mermaid and Helena from The Dial of Destiny.
No LGBT+ sex education
Sex ed could easily include no mention of any other sexuality than hetero, and even then Mr Hughes the science teacher was clearly more comfortable with plant sex than the human variety. If asked to explain homosexuality he would probably have described it as ‘when a man plant puts his stamen up another bloke’s pistil’ before telling the class to label the ovules in daisies while he went for a fag.
Homophobic bullying
This was actually the main activity of male children at school between the years 1972 and 1990. If they’d spent the same amount of time on academic subjects as they did calling each other ‘bender’, ‘poof’, ‘arse bandit’, etc. the average male pupil would have emerged with approximately 200 GCSEs.
Stereotypical gender subjects
Boys were encouraged to do metalwork and technical drawing, while girls were expected to do English Literature and, for the show-offs, drama. Ideally there would have been a subject called GCE Books, Cakes and Kitten Grooming they could have fobbed all the girls off with, but feminism had been around too long. Perhaps as a result of the progressive ideas pioneered by the likes of Germaine Greer, all pupils ended up doing home economics, resulting in families having to try a warm egg and ham salad their 12-year-old son had brought home and nearly barfing on the spot.
A disgraceful lack of DILFs
It must have been enshrined in the Education Act that all schools had a bare minimum of three MILF teachers or French assistants, but scant attention was paid to the wanking needs of heterosexual female pupils or gay males. The maximum level of attractiveness of male teachers was using an underarm deodorant and not having a beard that reminded you of Peter Sutcliffe.
