A SINGLE mother is celebrating the end of austerity and is excited for the affluent times ahead.
Following Theresa May’s announcement that austerity is now over, 28-year-old Nikki Hollis decided to give the food bank a miss this week.
Hollis said: “I was think of going down to ask for some canned vegetables to keep my kids alive, but now that everything’s fine again I thought I would go to Waitrose instead.
“I’ve just booked a holiday in Monaco.”
Minimum wage worker Wayne Hayes said: “’Austerity’ has been a good description of my living situation for over a decade so I’m glad it not longer even exists as a concept.
“I’m looked forward to getting home tonight and finding all my shit knackered stuff has been magically replaced with fancy things.”