Single woman imagines married friends give a shit about her love life

A SINGLE woman is convinced her coupled-up friends cannot wait to hear the latest instalment of the crazy rollercoaster that is her love life.

Joanna Kramer, aged 35, can barely finish a date before her married pals are breathlessly receiving texts about the latest crazy twist in her wild romantic adventures.

She said: “I know they’re just sitting in domestic boredom with nothing to do but check their phones for the next update about life in the dating jungle.

“They’ll be goggling in amazement at the news that John, my motorbiking bad boy window-cleaner, is cheating on me with another girl which nobody could ever have guessed.

“Meanwhile Anders the Dutchman – I give them all brilliant nicknames – says he’s not ready to be exclusive but wants to keep our sexual connection alive, and I’ve met an intriguing new Tinder match who says he wants to be my Christian Grey.

“They love the drama. When I’m round there, they don’t let me talk about anything else.”

Friend Susan Traherne said: “Oh fuck, a text from Jo. She’s been dumped again.

“I’m pretending I’ve not seen it. Put Netflix back on.”