Social class based on how you feel about Wotsits

YOUR feelings about Wotsits are the strongest indicator of your true social class, it has been revealed.

After decades of using traditional markers including the number of books in your house, where you went to school, and how many seconds of The Archers you can stand, scientists have found the Wotsit Principle to be the most accurate.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, explained: “Simply say ‘Ooh, I really fancy some Wotsits’.

“Working class people will sympathise enthusiastically. Most upper class people, while not being snobby about it,  just won’t have a clue what you’re talking about. Upper class people eat Monster Munch and Frazzles.

“Middle-class people have a different reaction, usually taking the form of a wistful half-smile. This is the result of them remembering that scally mate from school who would have Wotsits in their packed lunch.”

He added: “They will appear lost in thought for a moment as they are transported back to that time when they went round their house for tea and had waffles and fish fingers with ketchup.”

Scientists had previously been working on the Strongbow Principle as a class indicator, but said this was ruined by posh men drinking it ironically.