FRUIT picked by northern people would have to be washed at least three times, southern people said last night.
As a senior Conservative councillor was lambasted for suggesting northerners work for a living, everyone south of Birmingham said that was fine, but they would prefer it not to involve food.
David Shakespeare, Tory group leader on the Local Government Association, said northern types could ‘replace Romanians in the cherry orchards’ painting a glorious picture of happy, smelly, tattooed workers frolicking in the berry farms of rural Hampshire.
Tom Logan, an architect from Stevenage, said: “I thought we had all agreed they would be used for picking up litter?”
Helen Archer, an accountant from Hatfield, added: “Not lovely cherries, please.
“I suppose it could possibly work with apples, but they would have to be clearly labelled as ‘picked by northerners’.
Margaret Gerving, a retired headmistress from Guildford, added: “You do know that they spend all day with their hands up their own anuses.
“And they think that toilet paper is filled with invisible witches.”