BARISTAS at Starbucks are permitted to draw erect penises on attractive customers’ cups, it has emerged.
After it was revealed that Pret staff can hand out free coffees, Starbucks claimed that it was leading the way in sexually-manipulative hot drinks.
A spokesman said: “It’s a way of letting a customer know that you like them and would enjoy intercourse with them, which can really brighten their day.
“Our guidelines state that the penis should be in ‘basic school textbook’ style, just cock and balls with a horizontal line for the bellend. Strictly no pubes.
“However we ask staff to do maximum three cock drawings a day, to keep it special.”
Starbucks confirmed that the penis graphic applied to male and female staff, as there is no universally recognised doodle for female sexual arousal.
Customer Nikki Hollis said: “When I picked up my latte from the counter there was this weird picture on it, at first I thought it was a cormorant or some sort of sea bird.
“When I asked the barista what it meant he said ‘you’re my wife now’.”