LIFE can make you feel powerless, so sometimes it’s nice to offer up a tiny act of rebellion. Here are five incredibly lame ones…
Stealing a glass from a pub
Looking for a frisson of danger? Why not steal a nice glass from a pub while pissed? Except absolutely no one cares. If you asked the barman, they’d probably give you one free. Honestly, the duty manager dropped a full case of those novelty pint glasses this afternoon. You sad act.
Shouting at someone in a call centre
Trouble with your tumble dryer? Then why not completely fly off the handle with the lady from Curry’s customer service? Because nothing sticks it to a multinational company more than giving one of their 11,000 employees a hard time. For an added thrill, ask to speak to their supervisor and give them both barrels too. Even though they’re only on three quid more an hour and also couldn’t give a f**k.
Challenging a parking fine
If ever there was a doomed attempt to ‘fight for the little man’ it’s contesting the fact you were over the white line. But it’s hardly 12 Angry Men. Just suck it up, send the £60 direct debit and learn how to park your Nissan Qashqai straight.
Paying your tax on July 31st
By leaving it late – but crucially, still ON TIME – you’re sending a clear message: I AM going to play by your rules. But I’m going to play them so cool I’m basically Fonzie.
Nicking a traffic cone
A student rite of passage. At the very best, your actions will slightly inconvenience a road worker the next day. Not the kind of anarchy in the UK The Sex Pistols were singing about, and the cone will then live on in your student digs for a year as a constant reminder of your unoriginality.