AN adult man who thought he was still down with the kids has finally lost the remaining, insubstantial grasp he had on youth culture.
Ageing millennial Tom Booker thought he had a few years left until he became out-of-touch, but was forced to re-evaluate after being shown clips of a teenage lip syncer with billions of views on TikTok.
Booker said: “It was an inane video of some kid mouthing along to a song I didn’t know by a rapper I’ve never heard of. I reckon it aged me by about 20 years in the space of six seconds.
“When I asked someone in the comments to explain to me why it was so popular around 50 people called me a boomer, then I was bombarded with a flurry of emojis that didn’t make any sense.
“Is this how it begins, the gradual slide into obsolescence? I know who Billie Eilish is, doesn’t that count for anything?
“I thought I had a decade until I was made to feel middle aged, but I might as well call it quits now and form some centrist political opinions. Why delay the inevitable? I’m on the scrapheap so I might as well embrace it.
“I’m not bitter, I just can’t wait for the next wave of kids to come along and make Gen Z feel old and irrelevant. That’s assuming the planet doesn’t explode by then, which it definitely will.”