'Street food' incredibly expensive for something that's meant to be off the street

PLACES that sell ‘street food’ do not have ‘street prices’, it has been confirmed.

The Institute for Studies found that while places selling ‘street food’ are absurdly expensive, pubs that claim to be selling ‘World Class Grub’ are actually very cheap.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “You’d think it would be the other way round.”

Nikki Hollis, who runs an Indian street food ‘pop-up’ in London, said: “The food we sell is exactly like the food you might buy on the streets of Delhi.

“Obviously there it would cost you pennies but here it costs much, much more. You’re paying the extra to be able to say you’re eating ‘street food’.”

She added: “Idiots think that’s cool. And they have money. It’s just fantastic.”

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Woman in art gallery just guessing how long to stand in front of each painting

A WOMAN at an art exhibition admitted she does not know how long to stand in front of each picture and is having to guess. 

Francesca Ryan visited an exhibition at Tate Britain but confessed she was unsure if she had looked at a picture long enough or if she had looked at it for too long.

She said: “I mean I’ve seen it pretty much straight away. That’s the thing with eyes. They’re pretty quick.

“I don’t want to seem ignorant by moving on too fast but I don’t want to look like I don’t get it by moving on too soon, so I tried to do two minutes on each but that’s a long time to look at one thing if it’s not a telly.”

She added: “I realised I was subconsciously looking at the bigger pictures for longer and I’m pretty sure that’s not how art works.”

Ryan’s friend Susan Traherne said: “That’s why I always get an audioguide. It blithers on about expressionist brushstrokes or some shit, but it tells you exactly when to move on.”