BRITAIN was awash with stupid bloody hats yesterday as the temperature dipped below freezing for the first time this winter.
As the cold snap entered its third day trainee solicitor Julian Cook wore a brightly patterned Inca hat with his business suit that made him look like he had escaped from a mental hospital.
In Colchester accountant Tom Logan went for the retro communist look with a cheap Russian-style fake fur hat from Millets. Everyone said he was an arsehole.
Meanwhile, in Glasgow one young man wore a Fair Isle patterned wool skullcap teamed with a grey duffel coat and red cord trousers until he was beaten to death by a blood-thirsty mob.
Henry Brubaker, head of hats at the Institute for Studies, said: "So far today I have seen a beret, two homburgs, a boater, a pirate hat, five sou'westers, two panamas, a pith helmet and a bearskin.
"These are all perfectly nice hats but they should only ever be worn indoors."
He added: "Unfortunately too many people these days are using cold weather as a way of expressing their unbearable personalities.
"If it is very cold and you are tempted to go out wearing one of your stupid bloody hats, don't forget that you may end up being shoved under a train."