Successful A-Level student to mention results every day for rest of life

A STUDENT who received top A-Level results plans to work them into every conversation she has for the rest of her life.

Ella Bradbury said: “Oh, it’s no big deal, really, I only got five A*s in Physics, Further Maths, Chemistry, Biology, oh and English – just as a doss subject, to let off some steam, you know?

“Hopefully Cambridge won’t count that against me.”

She added: “I almost forgot to mention, I also got top five percent national grades in Physics and Biology respectively, but I’m sure that’s got to be quite common, as I barely even studied.

“I bet loads of other people did way better than I did. I mean, not at this school, or any school I’ve heard of… but probably somewhere.”

Mark Bradbury, Ella’s father, said: “We’re very proud of Ella, but we’re also aware that she’s going to be an insufferable shit forever.”