A STUDENT who bothered to revise for his mock exams is feeling unbearably pleased with himself as he waits to find out his A-level results.
Oliver O’Connor endured months of being called a ‘f**king square’ for spending weekends studying, and is now exacting his revenge by being extremely smug.
O’Connor said: “Everyone says mocks don’t count, and usually they’re right, but I have been gifted a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to feel superior thanks to an unexpected, deadly pandemic.
“All those kids who were planning to slack off a bit and revise properly later will now be fighting their way through clearing whilst I’m planning my cool new uni name. I’m thinking something like ‘Oz’.
“There’s always a chance mocks might be important. I don’t want to say ‘I told you so’, but as I said to Lucy earlier, ‘I told you so’. I hope she heard my wise words over her sobs.”
Fellow student Jordan Gardner said: “We’re all a bit too old to give the swotty bastard a wedgie these days, but since I’m going to South Bank uni now he can have one for old times’ sake.”
