Teenager humoured over bullshit college course

A TEENAGER’S belief that a local college course will lead to an amazing career in the media has been politely humoured by relatives.

Tom Logan, 17, described his Media Theory & Production course at a family meal in a pub where no one could bring themselves to tell him it was bollocks.

Aunt Donna Sheridan said: “Tom’s got this fanatical belief that the course will lead to a brilliant career in TV or film, but it’s clearly just mildly exploitative local tech college rubbish.

“The giveaway was that it’s mostly waffle like ‘the semiotic of the news cycle’. They’re making a short film but that takes a year because there’s only one camera between 20 people.

“However Tom’s confident that once he’s finished the course he’s going to ‘spend a couple of years at the BBC or Channel 4’ then set up his own film production company.

“We all said how great that was, except his parents, who just ordered another round of drinks.

“The most embarrassing bit was when Tom said he’d have to move to LA if he wanted to ‘play with the big boys like Spielberg’. I just said it was good to plan ahead.

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UK Debt Relief Appeal concert set for 2022

AN ALL-STAR concert to help poverty-stricken Britain has been scheduled for Brazil in 2022. 

Following news that the UK’s debt burden is set to hit £2 trillion just as key industries abandon the country, stars from across Latin America and Africa are preparing to unite to call for help.

Shakira, who is organising the concert after seeing heartbreaking footage of bewildered Britons unable to understand why their Toblerones were so small, said: “It’s about time we gave something back.

“Britain is being loaded with debt the banks know it can never afford to pay – even paying the interest will be beyond reach – and faces a future of either hopeless socialists or right-wing dictators.

“We can help the UK by raising awareness of their plight with a big fancy concert where we’ll all have a great time while asking the banks to forgive them.

“Not giving money, obviously. It’d just be throwing it into a bottomless pit.”

The event will take place three months after China’s Free Corbyn concert, aimed at securing the release of the long-standing political prisoner from exile on the Sandwich islands.