Teenager in suspiciously good mood

A TEENAGER has aroused the suspicion of his parents after emerging from his bedroom in an uncharacteristically good mood.

17-year-old Tom Booker typically communicates in a series of barely intelligible grunts, peppered with the occasional door slam.

His mother, Emma Booker, said: “The Tom I know is a moody, unpleasant little arse, so why the sudden shit-eating grin on his face? What’s he up to?

“I’ve got half a mind to snoop, but I hate going into his room because it reeks of him trying to cover up whatever the hell he’s been doing in there with copious amounts of Lynx Africa.”

Tom Booker said: “Honestly, it’s just a beautiful day. The sun is breaking through the clouds and I just really appreciate everything my wonderful mother does for me.”

Emma Booker added: “See? That’s fucked up isn’t it? I just hope it’s something harmless, like a weird sex thing or soft-to-moderate drugs.

“Oh Christ, what if it’s Scientology?”