TWO pupils at a Manchester school have not been planning to blow it up, a court heard yesterday.
Friends Stephen Malley and Nathan Muir, both 16, are accused of enjoying their lessons, having a wide circle of friends and at no time fostering a burning and inexplicable desire to destroy all mankind.
The pair allegedly plotted to stage a school production of Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew set to the music of Katy Perry. The boys' English teacher, Bill McKay, described the project as 'interesting, imaginative and utterly terrifying'.
Prosecuting counsel Julian Cook said the pupils were 'so warped by decency, naivety and fresh-faced humanity as to be unrecognisable by modern standards'.
He added: "Most of us remember school as a time of confusion, fear and permanently wedged undercrackers.
"It may sicken you to hear this, but these boys never once ducked out after registration to kill rats in an underpass while skulling Polish supermarket vodka."
Defence counsel Roy Hobbs dismissed photographs of the boys helping out at a local nursing home as 'prejudicial' and said he would present footage of them listening to awful whiney pop-metal and cutting each other with sharpened crucifixes.
Local skank and mother of six, Nikki Hollis, told the court: "I blame their parents for still being together."
Ms Hollis said her daughters used to be friends with the boys until they refused to impregnate them from behind under the flickering neon light of the local 24-hour garage.
The case continues.